My go-to drink orders when I'm not drinking

Simple picks when the bar's zero-proof menu falls short.

So you’re not drinking (tonight, for a while, anymore…) and you’re out and about. Of course, when you’re not consuming alcohol, you’re not necessarily expecting to get a buzz off of anything you drink, but you still want to enjoy a nice beverage instead of just sipping on water, right? Or maybe you want to simply avoid personal questions about why you’re not drinking and hold a drink that resembles an alcoholic beverage.

Now, many bars and restaurants these days have solid (and some outstanding) zero-proof drink options (see several of my recent posts here, here, and here) - but what if the non-alc program is lacking, or non-existent? Don’t worry, I gotchu! Here are some simple go-to options for drinks you should be able to order at any bar.

Non-alc beer & co

Of course, this might not be everyone’s cup of tea (pint of beer?), but most bars these days have a non-alcoholic beer on the menu - problem solved! While I do love non-alc beers, sometimes I just don’t feel like having a bitter hoppy bevvie. That’s when I usually ask the bartenders to make me a shandy, or a “Radler” as we call it back home in Germany: Take a pint glass, pour the beer in it (assuming it’s a 12 oz can or bottle) and top with lemon-lime soda like Sprite or 7Up, that’ll give you the right ratio. This works best with straightforward lager-style beers like Heineken 0.0, AL’s, Athletic Atlética, Best Day Kölsch, and even the omnipresent Athletic Run Wild IPA which, to me, tastes more like a lager anyway.

Two important notes:

• Yes, in the UK they say that a shandy is made with “lemonade”, but over there, “lemonade” is the term for a fizzy lemon-lime soda like a Sprite - the mixer has to be carbonated, otherwise your drink goes flat.

• Absolutely no ice or straws please in a shandy!

I take my Radler very seriously.

If the bar has Micheladas or Bloody Mary’s on the menu, they might also be able to make you a non-alcoholic Michelada, which is a delicious and refreshing alternative to just plain old beer.

For what it’s worth, as much as Germans love their beer, we also love to create all sorts of concoctions (or “beer cocktails”) with them. Mixing it with cola, grapefruit soda, raspberry syrup - everything is fair game. If you’re not immediately put off by the thought of this, maybe this is your sign to get creative!

Fizzy things

Don’t underestimate the power of presentation. A simple seltzer in a rocks glass (or tonic water if you like it bitter) with a lemon or lime wedge basically looks like a vodka soda or gin & tonic and will likely ward off any questions about your drinking preferences. The “Apfelschorle” (apple spritz) is another German favorite: It’s simply equal parts of apple juice and seltzer, and you can either have it in a pint glass to look like a beer (if you squint, or if the people around you have had sufficient drinks), or in a rocks glass over ice with a lime or lemon wedge, which can resemble a whiskey soda. Likewise, a cranberry & seltzer or really any other juice in a rocks glass with a squeeze of lime and a lime wedge garnish looks like a vodka cran, is pretty tasty, and not too high on sugar.

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A note on seltzer & bitters

Seltzer and bitters is a popular combo for those who want to skip the booze, but still have some flavoring in their drink. But there’s a catch some people might not be aware of: Regular cocktail bitters such as Angustora are highly alcoholic - Angustora clock in at 44.7% abv. Sure, you’re only adding a few dashes, but you’ll want to keep in mind that the 3 dashes of high-proof bitters already push a 5 oz drink over the limit of what’s legally considered “non-alcoholic” (0.5% abv). This is unlikely to be an issue for many people since there’s absolutely no chance to get tipsy off of such a small amount, but if you really want or need to go completely alcohol-free, you’ll want to skip the bitters. Alcohol-free bitters such as All The Bitter are a good alternative that are becoming increasingly popular, but you might not be able to find them at your friendly neighborhood bar just yet.

I’ve come to really appreciate ginger beer (not ginger ale, ginger beer - ginger ale’s slightly cloudier, spicier sibling) as a good non-alc alternative that packs a surprising amount of flavor and complexity. I occasionally ask bartenders if they can serve it in a nice glass with a fancy garnish, and they’re always happy to do so. A good ginger beer served in a collins glass over ice with a bunch of mint actually looks and feels like a nice cocktail.

Simple but complex cocktails

If you want something just a tad more exciting and you’re at a place that does espresso martinis, chances are you might be able to get an espresso tonic. This is quickly becoming one of the most popular non-alcoholic drinks (Food & Wine magazine called it “the drink of the summer” in 2023) because it’s easy to make with existing ingredients while also offering complex and interesting flavors that make it feel like a real, grown-up cocktail. I recommend 1 shot of espresso to 4 oz of tonic, garnished with an orange twist. They might even be able to play with some flavoring like the Espresso & Tonic at Good Guys on New York’s Lower East Side which uses vanilla and orange for added complexity.

You might hate me for this, but don’t knock a Shirley Temple. While the “mother of all mocktails” (I just made that up) is certainly on the sweeter side, it can be a seriously fun drink when done right. Sometimes you just have to lean into the campy retro vibes and have fun with it. Most bars will be able to mix one up using ginger ale, grenadine syrup, a squeeze of lime, and - most importantly - a maraschino cherry garnish. I don’t accept anything less than three cherries on my Shirley.

And finally, if the bar does have a non-alcoholic cocktail program but you’re just not a fan of the options, see if any of these contain a non-alcoholic aperitif like Lyre’s Italian Spritz or Martini & Rossi Floreale. They’re very common ingredients for zero-proof cocktails and are usually excellent mixed just with seltzer or tonic water to make a simple bittersweet spritz in a wine glass with an orange garnish.

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ANTI HANGOVER DRINKING CLUB is a newsletter & blog by Sam Bail, the founder of Third Place Bar NYC. We host regular alcohol-free events and share our favorite zero-proof recommendations with you. Make sure to check our calendar for upcoming events!